Is research supposed to be this uncomfortable?

I think on the whole I’m a positive person, so I’m mindful of sounding like I’m overly negative when it comes to research and this ARP but I’m really struggling.
I find myself continuously feeling out of place, surrounded by people far more qualified, intelligent and articulate. I’m soaking in all the incredible insights as much as I can, I’m in my group tutorial in the street after failing to find a quiet spot to work after teaching a session on ‘Selling your work without selling out’ to BA Fine Art students. Who in my experience are usually the most alienated by the language of Enterprise.

Everyone else seems composed and sure about their research, they’re doing PHD’s and I’m all feelings and rage and wanting to just fiercely advocate for the students I work with at all times. (not that I’m suggesting they’re not also fierce advocates)
But maybe I have to lean into the discomfort and the desire to be in that space of advocacy? maybe that can actually inform the research.

My peers are very generous when I trip over my words and try to articulate a really difficult ethical situation I’ve found myself in with an industry collaborator. Someone who does not value our students and what they bring to a collaboration. I’m trying to explain that I might use it to inform my research, and that maybe my focus is the ethics of live briefs and collaborations with Industry.

Post the session and me downloading a blow by blow account of the situation there is some concern that this might be a very hard thing to navigate as my ARP in terms of my own mental health and having to relive it again for the purposes of development and research. Totally fair and probably a good idea to have it be a lesson but not one that I need to take apart in a research capacity.

So the stuckness remains, both stuck on where to go and stuck on this story I keep telling myself about this not being a world I can exist in (the world of research)