Race- Shades of Noir

I’ll definitely be using the database from the Shades Of Noir website to widen the references I include in my examples, using it a starting point to go and learn about the creatives included and dig out those experiences, interviews and works that give the feel of an anecdotal example I was talking about in earlier blogsposts. Really learn more about the people and find ways to tell their stories and include their work that feels personal and meaningful. I can already also think of a few examples I saw at the degree shows this year, students work that could also be included that focus on their experiences of being at UAL, either being an international student, or a student of colour, or other characteristics that has meant then facing barriers and they have used this to inform their work.

Peekaboo we see you whiteness
The first thing that struck me about this piece was the word from the author Ines – I had what I suppose is a similar experience of realising how deeply my own whiteness affected me (or in fact led me to be unaffected by so much by virtue of being white) I was planning a trip and unlike Ines the realisation happened without even having to leave the country. As my prospective travel buddy and I reeled off countries or cities we’d love to check out something happened. He’d say ‘ohhh maybe not’ or ‘I don’t think so’ and his facial expression would change when I mentioned certain places. Stubborn (or curious you decide) as ever I couldn’t just accept that and of course asked why not? why not Morocco?
And it was then I realised something, my whiteness and my privilege (and maybe a little bit of naiveity) had meant that I had never once had to consider if it was safe to go somewhere based on the colour of my skin. Not once had I wondered if it would comfortable, enjoyable, stressful, intense. Not once, not once had I wondered anything about how the colour of my skin would affect my experience of travelling to another country. And what a massive privilege/ colonial hangover that is. And how problematic it is that I’d never clocked this before, never given it any thought. Never had to give it any thought. This sentiment extends also to university, I’d never worried about entering a classroom and being white having an affect on that. And sadly it wasn’t until my buddy, who is mixed race unintentionally brought it to my attention that I’d even considered it.

Linda Stupart’s piece really spoke to me, and I’m even a bit embarrassed to say that. Because of course – she’s white! And so now that makes me think. Here I am in an academic context (PGcert) and asked to do a piece of work (these blogging tasks) and the first thing I’ve done is choose a reference that I relate to. A reference from a white person. So I’ve basically just enacted the importance of students seeing themselves in the references live for myself. As if there was any doubt it was important anyway.
I found it especially powerful that she referred to herself outloud (well in print which is louder if you ask me) as racist – ‘like all white people, I am racist’ and I realised me too. I don’t think I’ve ever said that out loud or really acknowledged it. I’ve often fallen into that trap of believing and telling myself and others that intention makes a difference. So in this context if you don’t intend to cause harm, if there isn’t intention then it can’t be racism. I’ve been engaging a lot with Laila Woozeer’s content recently and in a discussion about the use of fake tan and whether or not it’s harmful to POC for white people to fake tan came up. Lots of people’s defense seemed to be that there was no intention to hurt and it was more about their own insecurities or social conditioning. Laila pointed out that intension doesn’t negate harm and I think this applies here. I can have the best of intentions but the fact is that I can’t have grown up in the white skin and not have it affect me, not have benefited from it, in and out of the classroom. In and out of my career, or in and out of the position I now hold. I have to do more in my teaching than have good intentions.